Wow, congratulations. You made it to the terms page, smarty pants. I bet you’re not even going to read on. You just wanted to tell yourself you looked at them, because you consider yourself smarter than other people. Oh, you ARE going to read on? Good for you. Well put down your biscotti and buckle your seatbelt. By using this site, you’re basically signing up to not be offended. It’s like I said “no offense” at the top of every page. (Don’t go look though. I did NOT actually say “no offense” at the top of every page. It was a figure of speech.) All the ideas on this website are mine. You can tell your friends my funny jokes if you want, but you have to give me credit. And if you “tell” them on another website, a shout out (link back) would be nice. Please don’t try to hack my site or post spammy or stupid comments or just generally be an ass. I mean, you can say mean shit. That’s fine. Just make sure it’s entertaining, or else I’m gonna take it down. Meow. I hope you know that if you buy our stuff from CafePress, you should be reading their terms. Goodbye! If you buy one of my shitting things, you need to know that they’re a joke, and you’re buying a joke, and you’d better have a good sense of humor or you’re going to be disappointed. You can resell without my permission (how ’bout that!) but good fucking luck. By buying all my stuff, you agree you’re not going to get angry and/or hurt yourself and hold me responsible for either one. And if you’re not happy, I’ll try to give you your money back, but I’m gonna be honest, I’m not going to try very hard. Oh, and if you go do something illegal or wrong with my shit, I’m not responsible for that either. What are we going to do with your email? Whatever we want. Does that seem mean? You gave it to us. No, just kidding. We most likely won’t sell it. Besides, it’s not worth that much anyway, so don’t flatter yourself. We may however combine it with our other sites and “market to you” (spam) about that shit as well. Trust us, you’ll like it. What if you don’t? You’ve always got that “unsubscribe” link in the footer. I wish I could say we would miss you when you’re gone, but in all honesty, we won’t even know. I mean, I’m not going to wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat and check my subscribers, and sure enough, one lower. So yeah, do whatever you want.